Ever since the ultrasound tech looked at me and said "It's a boy!" I have been looking forward to the day Corbin was old enough to play football. To me that is one of the most exciting parts of having a boy and there was never a doubt in my mind that we would sign him up as soon as he was old enough to play.

****Disclaimer**** If Corbin hates football or doesn't want to play - we are totally ok with that. I just want him to try. He can do whatever makes him happy when it comes to sports :)

That day is here.

About a month ago, I looked at the YMCA website to see what sports they offered for a 3 year old. Soccer was listed (little kickers). That was the only one on the website for a 3 year old. Flag football (little punters) did not start until age 4. I had expected this and we decided soccer was a great introduction to team sports. He could always do football next year when he was 4.

I called the YMCA on my lunch this afternoon and there was only one spot for soccer left. I work 5 minutes from the Y, so I took off as fast as I could. My kiddo was not missing out on a sport b/c mama can't get it together. I made it in time - they told me another mama had called right after me and was on her way as well.

When they handed me the paperwork, I noticed it said "little punters - age 3", so I asked them about it. The website was wrong!!!! Football starts at 3!!!! I debated for about 5 minutes and even tried to call James to ask his opinion. But James didn't answer and so I made an executive decision. My son is playing flag football!

I am super excited and so is Corbin. I told him after I picked him up today. His first practice is September 25. I'll post pictures and updates after that :)

dear well meaning people

I know you mean well. Really. And I don't hold the fact that you don't get it against you. Really I don't. But for future reference - please don't tell me that a miscarriage is natures way of weeding out the bad eggs. I do understand that frequently a m/c happens b/c there are issues that make the baby incompatible with life. I absolutely get that sometimes there are chromosomal issues that are so extreme - that a miscarriage happens. I am aware that this is a common reason for a m/c.

Here's the thing though...Chromosomal abnormalities did not cause 2 out of 3 of my m/c's. It may have been why I miscarried the second time - early early miscarriages are almost always b/c of a chromosomal issue and it was a super early loss.

But the first one - well I had the tissue tested. The baby had no abnormalities. It was just one of those things and there is no explanation.

And Pepper's stuff all came back normal too. It was a cord accident. Not nature weeding out a bad egg.

So unless you know the story - don't say that. Even if you do know the story, don't say that. It wouldn't have mattered to me if my baby had issues. I would have loved her anyway. It doesn't make me feel better to hear that. IT doesn't make most dead baby moms feel better to hear that. It just makes us want to cry or throw something. And neither of those reactions are considered acceptable, so we usually just suck it up and go home to rant on our blogs or to our husbands.

I know no one knows what to say to a dead baby mom. Especially one who has lost more than one baby. So I will give you an idea of what is an acceptable line:

"I'm sorry for your loss" - can't go wrong with this one. Most of the time that's all I really wanted to hear.

"I'm sorry for your loss. It sucks. There's nothing else to say - it just sucks" - this is my favorite, personally. My nurse who checked me into the hospital when I delivered Pepper, said this to us. She was sitting on the coffee table, getting ready to explain our burial options and autopsy stuff and the bereaved parents group the hospital has. And James and I were sitting across from her, on the couch, and I was praying she wouldn't say anything about this being natures way of weeding out a bad egg...And she looked at us and said "I'm sorry - this sucks. That's all. It sucks." And I almost cried from relief b/c it was like someone got it! God bless that wonderful nurse and the two who cared for us the rest of that awful night.

Other helpful things:

"Can I bring you dinner/run your vacuum/do your laundry?" - personally I didn't care the first couple of days if my floor had enough dog hair on it to make another dog, if my clothes were 3 days old and stinky, or if I ever ate again. But the rest of my family wanted dinner and clean underwear. And since one of them is 3 and not terribly useful and one was very busy loving on me, it was nice to have people help out for a couple of days until I felt more like doing things again.

"Can I see pictures of your baby?" - some DBM's don't want to show their pictures. It can be painful and you don't know how people will react. I am very proud of Pepper, but I'm not stupid. She's not plump and rosy and full term. She's a 17wk baby - it's a totally different ball game. And she was perfectly formed, but does not look like a full term baby. And you're terrified someone will say something negative or be offended. I haven't posted the pictures on the blog b/c I know this is a sensitive subject to people and may upset them. And I don't want my baby's picture to cause controversy. So I rarely offer to show the pictures to people. I will show them if asked though.

"I'm here if you need to talk" - But if you say it, please mean it. Don't say it b/c you're "supposed" to. It's ok if you can't handle hearing about my loss. It's a hard thing to deal with and I understand that. But please don't offer your support if you don't mean it. We already feel alone - it hurts even worse when someone who said we could talk to them doesn't really want to hear how we feel.

On the flip side - be understanding if we don't want to talk about our loss - especially right after it happens. I could barely get through the phone calls to tell my family what had happened without falling apart. In fact the first time I miscarried, I made James tell everyone. The second time, I texted the 3 or 4 people who knew. This last time, I made the phone calls while driving b/c having to focus on the road kept me in control.

After I came home from the hospital, I didn't want to be alone, but I didn't really want to talk about things. I just wanted someone to sit with me and let me do my thing. That only lasted about a week and then I was ok with being alone. But at first, I hated being alone. So even just offering to sit with someone is a nice thing.


I know that when people say the "wrong" things they don't mean anything by it. They just don't know any better and I don't hold it against them. But it can be like rubbing salt in a nasty wound - it stings horribly. So this blog post is born from a horribly stinging moment I had at work today.

The thing to remember is - trying to explain my loss or use warm fuzzies - "God needed an angel", "at least you can get pregnant", "you can try again" - isn't helpful. The best thing to say is "I'm sorry, this is horrible, what can I do?" And mean it.

And lots of love to all the fabulous people who have done just that for us. And all the fabulous people who mean well.

funny Corbin

Today, as we were driving to daycare, Corbin said two things that had me rolling.

1. Corbin: "mom I love you"
Me: "I love you too!"
Corbin: "But I love trucks more"

2. "Mom, do you go to work for food?"


And then this gem from Tuesday morning:

Corbin gets out of bed at 6am and announces that he wet the bed. I go to take off his wet jammies and notice they are still warm - as in he had just wet them.

Me:"Corbin, why didn't you get up to go potty?"
Corbin: "Because I wanted to pee in the bed!"
Me: "you were awake when you did this?!??!"
Corbin: "yes"


He cracks me up.

Corbin taught me a very important lesson today

Milk is better when you drink it with a straw.

He was using a bendy straw to drink milk and I let him pick out one for me to use - a green one :)

And it was a lot more fun that way lol.

I love Corbin. He really teaches me to find joy in the simple, silly things.

Such a wonderful blessing.

post #100

My sweet boy fingerpainting

And after. What a blessing he is - even when he's filthy!

well then

I got my blood work back today. Everything looks good. I am having an HSG done next month to check for abnormalities in my uterus. And they lost my thyroid results, so unless they find them, I have to have them redrawn.

The autopsy is back now. Everything was fine with the baby. Cause of death was a cord accident. My OB says I just have bad luck. I don't actually believe in luck, but whatever.


Oh - and it was a GIRL. Looked like a boy to me and James and the nurses, but apparently we were all wrong. So that's made it an interesting day. Her name is Pepper Lynn.

because - when it comes down to it - pictures and short memories are all we have.

http://www.newsweek.com/2009/02/09/a-vast-and-sudden-sadness.html


I was 17wks 3 days when I delivered Andrew and so it was considered a miscarriage and not a stillbirth. After 20wks it is considered a stillbirth. But we were encouraged to take pictures and I have a couple on my phone. The nurses took more for us after they dressed him and took his feet and hand prints.

While I hope no one I know ever has to go through this - if they ever did, I would tell them to take pictures and hold their sweet baby. It's all you have. And you will cherish the time spent - even if it is only a few minutes.

my arms hurt

I only held my baby for a little while. And he was so tiny - .25lbs and i don't know how long. Little. So little. So it seems fairly impossible to say that sometimes my arms literally ache to feel the weight of him again. They just feel so empty - sometimes emptier than the spot in my heart that aches for all my little ones in Heaven. And that's pretty hard to imagine - but there it is. It's not a constant thing - neither is the pain in my heart. But when I see a newborn and know that I'll never know what my baby would have been as a full term healthy happy newborn. Or when I fold all of Corbin's tiny, keepsake clothes into a new spot while organizing his closet. Or sometimes for no reason at all. It just hits out of nowhere and I have to stop and catch my breath - b/c if the arms are aching, the heart isn't too far behind them.

It's amazing how a tiny, .25lb little man can change so much.

then and now

December 23, 2006

July 30, 2010

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and comforts those who are crushed in spirit"

This has been a life verse for me for so many things - boy problems, friend problems, my dad's health problems. When James and I were having issues, when I lost my first and second baby. And now too.

I was thinking, literally the day before I found out Andrew was gone, that God had shown His faithfulness to me over and over again. Even when I was doubting - He was faithful.

I had read in my sisters blog - she was talking about how I had lost two babies and still had faith. And I was thinking - over and over again I had seen God glorified through random, painful events in my life. Some of those things I look back on and laugh at how upset I was at that time. But God worked in me through them, regardless of how stupid. And some of those things - my dad's health, my marriage issues, my babies - have changed me in ways I can't even explain. I have known God's faithfulness and grace and mercy and love so many times in my life. And although there are moments of anger and confusion, I know He is sovereign and has a plan. I know all of these things are somehow making me into the woman He wants me to be. I don't have unshakable faith, but I know God is sovereign and I trust in that. Even in my anger - I come back to that. I couldn't escape it if I tried. It's the truth, you can't run from the truth.

I was listening to the Caedmon's Call song Lead of Love while having these thoughts. And it's true - looking back I do see the lead of love. I've shared that before - when my life was less complicated. But it's true even now - it's been shown over and over.

So the next day we found out Andrew had passed away.

And there was peace.

Everyone we knew was thinking about us. But more than that - lots of people were praying for us. And "the peace that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". Never have I experienced peace like that. Sure I cried a lot. More in the days after. But there was peace. God was still faithful. My circumstances do not change God's character.

During my first miscarriage - I fell apart. I was a wreck at the hospital. I was a totally different person than I was this time. I grew through that loss and the things that happened afterward.

I approached this time totally differently, but there's no way I did it on my own.

On my own there is no way I could have delivered my dead baby without totally flipping out. I had a brief moment of panic when they told me I was too far along for a surgical delivery. But then I knew I had no choice and I somewhere in my head, started praying for strength. And God provided it.

You know - I spent time at the hospital laughing and joking. This was the hardest thing I had ever done - but I was not going to look back later and only remember tears and a bad attitude. My baby was dead, yes, but the few minutes I would have with it were not going to be ruined by my attitude and actions. I wanted as peaceful of an experience as possible.

By the grace of God, I mostly held it together. Now I cried a few times - but it wasn't out of control or angry. I was sad and scared and everything else most women in that situation were.

But I was strong - or rather God was strong while I was weak. But praise God that his power is made perfect in my weakness. Because it was only Him working in me that allowed me to not fall apart.

There has been anger here - anger at my circumstances, even anger at God. At one point, I looked at James and told him "well God sucks!" This was a day or two after we were home and I was feeling so....lost. The why questions hit - why us? Why now? Why again? The thing is - God can handle my anger and since He knows how I'm feeling anyway - I've found it much better to just tell Him, then to pretend like everything's fine b/t us. Because, I've found, when you're honest with God about your hurt and anger - you don't feel as hurt or as angry. There is healing in an honest conversation with God.

It's not that my faith is strong. It's not. Sometimes I'm barely hanging on. But I serve a God who is strong, I serve a God who understands, and I serve a God who will hold me together when I'm falling apart.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and comforts those who are crushed in spirit"

It's true. Praise Him for His faithfulness.

well that was fun

The blog got a makeover courtesy of www.shabbyblogs.com.

Good times.

10 days later

I did laundry.

I cooked dinner.

I spent the whole day with Corbin and enjoyed him. Really - he's insane.

We booked a cruise. We're going to the Bahamas for 3 nights in October - just me and James. It's something nice to look forward to.

I called a counselor. Actually the same counselor we saw for marriage counseling. She's very nice and I like her. And I need someone one who is not affected by our loss like the family is to talk to. There are a lot of thoughts in my head and a lot of decisions I feel like we need to make. I don't want to make our choices out of fear and grief (b/c I feel A LOT of that at the moment) and I think getting another perspective will help. Plus talking to someone will probably help me heal.

I'm trying to get back to normal.

I'm taking things one day at a time - one minute at a time really. I can be ok one minute and in tears the next. I have a lot of thoughts - I feel like a failure as a mom, a wife, and a woman. I feel like this is my fault. James reassures me every time that this is not true. He's a fabulous support and talking to him really makes me feel better.

I know that someday I will feel better - we'll never forget, but it won't hurt as bad. So I keep on trucking. There's nothing else I can do.

I was reading a random blog about recurrent pregnancy loss. I stumbled on it while I was looking at some information about the 7 million blood tests the doc is doing on me.

Anyway - I guess the writer has had a few first trimester losses and she was blogging about the "two week wait" For those who aren't familiar with trying to conceive lingo, this is the time b/t ovulation and the your (hopefully) positive pregnancy test. Or your period if you're not lucky that cycle. As becoming pregnant isn't the difficult part for us, I haven't really found the two week wait to be that dramatic. I do understand why it is hard for some women. We have been blessed to conceive easily four times now. Our problem is with keeping the babies.

The blogger goes on to talk about how she now has the "three month wait" in addition to the drama of the two week wait. This is the time when she lives in fear that she will miscarry her baby. I will agree that this is a very rough wait. There was such relief for James and I when we hit the 12 week mark, then 13, 14, 15....

Smooth sailing right?

I wish it was that easy.

When I had my first miscarriage I lost the innocence of pregnancy. I realized that this could happen to me - I was not immune to pregnancy loss. When I lost the second, I realized that maybe this whole having another baby wasn't going to be so easy this time.

So of course there was some fear in the first three months of my pregnancy with Andrew. Every day that passed that I didn't miscarry was a blessing. I couldn't take any day, any milestone for granted. It was all a blessing. Sure I complained about morning sickness and exhaustion - what pregnant woman doesn't? Still, I was thankful to be experiencing it - in my mind it meant my baby was growing well.

Anyway - the whole point of this is to say....my wait doesn't stop after two weeks anymore. It doesn't stop after three months. I don't think there will ever be a point in a pregnancy where I will be able to sit back and say "it's all going to be ok from here" Even though I knew before that there was always a chance my pregnancy wasn't going to be ok - it's a reality now.

I told James that I was glad we hadn't made any baby related purchases yet. I was waiting for my anatomy scan on the 30th. I planned to hit the outlets on the 31st and start getting baby clothes and what not. I'm glad I made that choice - it would have been much harder to come home from the hospital and deal with baby clothes and toys. It was hard enough to deal with the maternity clothes. My mother in law folded all of our laundry and put them away for me. I was just gonna leave them laying around - I wasn't really up to dealing with them yet. Anyway - I told him next time, we weren't buying anything until our baby was safe in our arms. I'll wear sweat pants and t shirts the whole pregnancy. We can order the crib and stuff online from the hospital or hit Babies R Us on the way home from the hospital for all of our baby needs.

I'll probably change my mind. I don't regret for a second that I enjoyed the time I was pregnant with Andrew. There were great moments - the positive pregnancy test, two awesome U/S, hearing his little heartbeat on the doppler, feeling the occasional little flutter, picking out baby names, telling James we were pregnant. I wouldn't trade enjoying those moments - I think I would really regret it if I hadn't embraced the pregnancy and made the choice to set aside the fear and hope for the best. It's nice to have those good memories.

I have no idea where I was going with all of this. I started with a point, but now I've lost it lol. I guess the big thing is that I wish it was as a simple as just getting pregnant or just making through the first trimester. The fact is - it's not. It's not that simple for anyone. Every single day that a woman is pregnant is a blessing. Enjoy it.

explaning to a three year old

James had to run a quick errand last night after Corbin went to bed. Well when Corbin heard James leave, he hopped out of bed to see what was going on. He said "where's daddy? I don't want him to leave! I missed you last time!"

So I let him get out of bed, so we could chat for a while. He asked why I was sick and at the doctor. James and I had already decided that we would be honest about everything with him. He knew there was a brother or sister growing in my belly and we decided it would be best to just explain that his baby brother went to Heaven. So I told him, his brother in my belly was in Heaven now. Mama had to go to the doctor so they could make sure she was ok. He asked where Heaven was and I told him it was far away. He asked if it was in outer space and if there was a rocket ship there. I told him I didn't know about the rocket ship. He said that was ok, we could go see the baby tomorrow with a rocket ship.

I'm so blessed to have my sweet little boy. Even in my saddest moments, even having a sad conversation with him, he can always make me smile.

numb

Andrew Patrick Murphy was born at 220 AM today.

I went to the OB with some bleeding yesterday morning. It was very light and I figured it was really nothing. My OB was in surgery, so I went to another practice to see another OB. My OB is the only one in his office, so when he's busy I have to go to another office to see his partners.

Anyway, they were unable to find a heartbeat with the doppler, so they sent me for an US. The tech didn't say two words during the US, so I knew something was wrong. I went back to see the doc and he told me there was no heartbeat. My OB was out of surgery at this point, so I was sent back to his office to find out my options.

Dr. George did an extensive US and it showed that the baby was measuring b/t 15-16wks gestation. I was 17wks 3 days yesterday. We heard a heartbeat at about 15 weeks 3 days. 1/4 of my placenta had detached and they thought that was the cause of death. The OB said it happened shortly after my last appt.

The baby was too big for a D&C, so I was induced at 4pm yesterday.

Like I said, Andrew was born at 220am. We were able to tell he was a boy and we took some pictures and spent some time with him. I do have pictures, but I'm not sure I'm going to post them. Maybe later.

The nurses were wonderful. They sent me home with a box of things - baby bracelet, hand and foot prints, and the clothes the put on him for pictures. For such a horrible situation, they really made it seem not so bad.

Since this is my third loss, the doctors have decided to do some testing on me. They drew 12 tubes of blood yesterday and will draw several more as soon as my HcG levels are down to 0 again. They're doing an autopsy on Andrew to check for chromosomal problems. The cord was wrapped tightly around his leg - cutting down to the bone - so it may have been a cord accident.

We will wait for all the tests to come back before we try to have another baby.

Right now I'm supposed to park my tush on the couch and rest for a few days.

Dear Lobsters....

I'm sorry that you had to die in order for my husband to enjoy your delicious tails. I am, however, quite glad that you were dead long before the Publix fish guy picked you out for me. I'm not sure I could have killed you. I am still slightly disturbed that I had to slit your tails. Again, I'm sorry for your death. Rest in Peace little lobsters...



I made my first lobster meal yesterday.....

I was at work. It was Wednesday. The Publix ad comes out on Wednesday. It's the highlight of the day. I love to see what's on sale.

This week lobster tails are $4.95 each or something like that. Apparently this is a good price for lobster tails. Shrimp is also on sale if anyone is interested. I just bought lobster.

So, for some reason, I get this brilliant idea that I will make my husband some delicious lobster tail for dinner one night. He's a good man. He likes lobster. I should make him some, right?

At 445pm I am killing time at work, talking about food. Food is on my mind almost every day at around this time. It's been a couple hours since lunch and Baby Murphy thinks s/he should eat every couple of hours. So my stomach begins to devour itself around 430pm every day.

Anyway...somehow I decide I should buy a couple lobster tails on the way home from work and cook them. I get to Publix, the guy digs me out a two frozen lobster tails, and he gives me the sale price a day early! This is meant to be. Cooking tails should be easy breezy!

So, I get home, get Corbin and I some supper (I don't care for lobster and I'm not sure if Corbo will either), my lobster tails thaw. I call James to see when he'll be home and tell him what I'm cooking. He's excited of course. I'm feeling like a wonderful wife lol.

And then....

I look at the paper my tails are wrapped in. There are instructions on the paper. The very first line says "split the tail with kitchen shears" Say what? I read it again. I'm clueless. How does one split a lobster tail with kitchen shears? I call my mother in law. She's working and of course can't talk about lobsters. I call my aunt (Nana). Nana knows nothing about lobsters. Papa's just as clueless. But like a good aunt, she stays on the phone with me as I get increasingly weirded out by splitting these poor guys tails.

You know...I'll buy a whole chicken, pull out it's gizzard, and boil it. No problem. Doesn't phase me. I certainly don't feel sorry for the chicken.

I felt sorry for the lobster. It was just it's little tail, but I felt so horribly disturbed. I felt like I was mutilating a lobster. I felt like a lobster murderer.

The lobster came to me dead. I mean really, I didn't even see the lobsters the tails came from. But I felt completely responsible for their deaths.

But I split their little tails. And I boiled my water and put my steaming basket in. And I placed the lobster tails inside and closed the lid. About 6 minutes later, I checked on them. The tails were bright red. Turned off the water. Checked on them again a couple minutes later. My lobster tails were curled into the fetal position.

I was thoroughly disturbed now. I went to talk to James. Told him about my discovery of fetal position lobster tails. He reminds me that the tails were dead and did not curl up that way to escape the pain I inflicted on them.

Back to the kitchen I go. I show Corbin the tails. He's fascinated. Wants to know why they're red now? I have no idea, but I tell him daddy may share a bite with him, if he asks nicely. This distracts him from the mystery of the red tails.

I did not try the tails, but apparently they were awesome. I dumped some lemon herb butter over them and some linguine and called it a night. Corbin tried a bite. He said he didn't like it, but he didn't spit it out and he was smiling while he chewed, so I'm pretty sure he did like it. He wants to go lobster hunting with daddy now lol.

The funny thing is....I feel like I need to cook a whole lobster now. I was scarred for life by the tails, but I want to cook a whole, live lobster. I don't know why. I feel like I haven't completed the lobster cooking challenge yet. Tail murder is not enough. I must murder and mutilate a whole lobster. I think I'll wait until after the baby comes though. I think pregnancy hormones and lobster murder would be a bad combo.

Oh yeah....

While reading the cookbook section on shellfish last night (needed a picture to make sure I was handling tail splitting right) I saw a recipe for fried blue crabs. This sounded like it had potential, so I read through it. Thought I would tackle those next. Then I read the first line. This requires live blue crabs. The book says to run them under cold water so that they are easier to handle. This seems odd to me, but I read on. I'm supposed to grab the crab, stab it in the brain, and cut it's head off!! Yup, fried blue crab is out of the question. Maybe when Corbin is old enough to murder the crabs for me. He may even enjoy it.

I LOOOOVE my husband

At work one day, we were talking about husbands or something....IDK really remember the whole conversation. Anyway, all of the sudden, one of my coworkers puts her finger in the air and says "I loooove my husband" It was pretty funny.


Ok so moving on....

We were in church last Sunday - Father's Day. And of course, b/c it's Father's Day, the sermon is being "directed" at the guys. He was talking about when Adam and Eve sinned in the garden and Adams behavior in that. At one point the pastor says that there are two things he tries to make sure his sons understand about being men. The first is that real men are not passive. The second is that real men take responsibility for their actions.

This is exactly James.

He's so not passive. He's so not passive that sometimes it drives me up a wall. But I know - if I'm doing something wrong, if I'm sinning, if I'm digging my heels in and dragging our family down the wrong way....he absolutely does not let that fly. Like gossiping....as I've said before, I enjoy gossip. If James hears me gossiping, he tells me to stop. If he thinks I'm gossiping - even if really I'm only gossiping a little and mostly I'm just complaining (which is equally bad I guess lol) he tells me to stop. I have some friends who's husbands are either not aware when they are not acting in a Godly manner, or maybe they just don't really care that much. Their husband's are passive when it comes to their wives behaviors. As much as James sometimes drives me crazy, I know that most of the time, he's going to do what is right. And most of the time, he's going to make sure I do what's right as well. And for that, I really am thankful. He's a great leader for our family.

James is also great at taking responsibility when he has done something wrong. When he points out to me that I'm not acting right, I typically get defensive before I say "you're right and I'm sorry." This is something I'm working on, but it's hard. Most of the time, when I point out that he's wrong - he's acting hypocritical or something - he's very quick to say that he is wrong and accept responsibility for his actions. I'm thankful for that to.

James is a great example to Corbin (usually - there are moments when I wonder what or even if he's thinking. Like when he lights paper on fire in the house and things of that nature) I'm so glad Corbin has a great daddy to look up to. I'm so thankful he has a good example of how a man should act - how a man should treat his family, etc. I'm so glad I agreed to marry him :)

10wk 2 day ultrasound picture

Had a surprise U/S on Wednesday. Everything's fine with baby Murphy and me, no worries there.

Here is the picture. Baby is measuring right on track and heart rate is 176. The higher heart rate and all the heartburn I'm having makes me think baby girl with lots of hair lol.

A Little Bit About My Big Boy

Corbin is growing by leaps and bounds. Every single day it's something new :)

Corbin learns a new song at "school" every week. His teacher, Miss Donna, tells James and I that he catches on super quick to the songs. She can't believe how quickly he gets them. And he sings everything. He makes up songs often and sings all the little songs he knows all the time.

Corbin can write some of his letters. A couple weeks ago, he called me into his room, yelling :I wrote an 'A'!!" I had no idea he could write any letters, so I was very surprised to see a nice looking "A" on his dry erase board. He wrote some of the letters on my "Happy Mother's Day" card. Daddy helped with the rest :)

Corbin can count to 15 in Spanish. In English, he can count to 30. Well, he can kind of count to 30. He says "twenty-eight. Twenty-nine. Twenty-ten" It's so cute that I don't even want to correct him!

Lately, Corbin has two questions he asks me every day. The first in the mornings when he asks me "Mom...are you sick today?" Yes - even three year olds are aware of morning sickness. I always tell him "mama doesn't feel good, but she's ok" He says "ok" and goes on about his business.
The second question he asks in the evenings. He lifts up my shirt, pokes my belly, and asks if the baby has come out yet. Three year olds have no concept of time. He has no idea what it means when we tell him the baby won't be here until Christmas time.

Corbin can also put on all of his own clothes and his shoes. He likes to pick his own clothes out and asks us "Am I handsome?" Of course he's always handsome :)

Corbin has a crazy imagination. He plays with his Thomas trains and his cars and acts out some great stories. It's such a joy to listen to him play.

Corbin's latest skill is swimming. He can swim underwater a short distance - with no life jacket! It's pretty impressive!

All in all - Corbin is pretty much the coolest three year old I know. We are SO blessed to be his parents :)

bump bump...bump bump

Well we can't hear it on the Doppler yet, but last Thursday I heard sweet baby Murphy's heart beating away on the Ultrasound. They showed it to me first and I asked how fast it was. So we listened as well. It was a beautiful 146 bpm.

My appointment went great. Loved the OB I saw, loved the office staff. It was a great experience. I'll see all the OBs in the practice, but can choose who does the C-section. My C/S will be sometime b/t 12/11-12/15 and we will schedule the exact date sometime around 28 weeks.

Of course I got a cute little U/S pic. I didn't scan it - I took the pic with the phone and emailed it, so it's a bit fuzzy. I won't be posting U/S pics on Facebook, so if you would like to see them, I'll always put them here.

Ok that out of the way...here is our little bean: