my arms hurt

I only held my baby for a little while. And he was so tiny - .25lbs and i don't know how long. Little. So little. So it seems fairly impossible to say that sometimes my arms literally ache to feel the weight of him again. They just feel so empty - sometimes emptier than the spot in my heart that aches for all my little ones in Heaven. And that's pretty hard to imagine - but there it is. It's not a constant thing - neither is the pain in my heart. But when I see a newborn and know that I'll never know what my baby would have been as a full term healthy happy newborn. Or when I fold all of Corbin's tiny, keepsake clothes into a new spot while organizing his closet. Or sometimes for no reason at all. It just hits out of nowhere and I have to stop and catch my breath - b/c if the arms are aching, the heart isn't too far behind them.

It's amazing how a tiny, .25lb little man can change so much.